17 Jan 2005



(New South Slabovia) Charlie Edward O'Donald, the youngest-ever haed of O'Donald's, was found daed of a daedly combination of cancers of the colon and the rectum. "Rectum?" said O'Donald's CEO C.E.O'Donald, "Damn near killed 'im? Wait. It did kill him. Sorry about that."

Charlie E.O'Donald (no relation) began working assembling O'Donald's product when he was 5 to put his fourteen brothers and sisters through school. He descended through the ranks "quicker than a Llama O'Nugget" and became haed of product development and international marketing. He is widely credited with crediting himself for the slogan "I'm Shovin' It" and for putting healthier foods on the O'Donald's menu, such as the Llama O'Gravy with Optional Salad and the Atkins-approved Llama O'Bacon Bacon Triple Bacon Burger with Bacon.

C.E.O'Donald quickly denied that Charlie E. O'Donald's daeth had anything to do with actually eating his product. "O'Donald's food is the healthiest llama-based food-related program on the planet," he said at a press conference near his mansion in the tax-free Slabovian South Slabovian Islands. "Besides, science has never proven a link between food and colon cancer. Anyway, how would our product get into someone's colon? As for the rectum cancer... This press conference is over!"