Top Snot

Slabovian Navey Operations and Tactics School (SNOTS)

Unofficial TOP SNOT patch awarded to graduates

In 1998, Lord High Admiral George Bragg, dissatisfied with the Navey's kill ratio against the ASO and P* fleet, tasked Captain Rankin MacGillivray to research the failings of the Slabovian Navey in these two theaters and make recommendations. MacGillivray's findings indicated that the Navey's technology was sufficiently advanced and reliable, but wasn't being applied effectively. High quality, focused training was required. This lead to the formation of the Slabovian Navey Operations and Tactics School, more popularly known as "TOPSNOT".

Promising candidates are pulled from the front lines once per year in order to attend the school's Really Advanced Local Landmark relaY (RALLY) course. Permanent, full-time qualified instructors (usually past TOPSNOT trophy winners) conduct classroom training sessions followed by live training "hops" that pit students against TOPSNOT instructors wherein the students demonstrate what they have learned. After each hop, the student's performance is reviewed and the student is berated at length such that he or she knows exactly how badly they did. Each year, a small number of crews do not meet TOPSNOT's standards and are dropped from the course.

The curriculum includes close-quarter maneuvering, precision navigation, weapons delivery, pizza delivery, and much more, often under adverse conditions. Every year, the TOPSNOT trophy is awarded to the crew that graduates with the highest marks.

1998 TOPSNOT Trophy winner: Spade Class Corvette USS Maltese Falcon

Left to Right: Lt S. Clarke; Ens L. Wall; Cdr R. MacGillivray; Lt(JG) A. Andriovytch

2015 TOPSNOT Participants

Left to Right: USS Buttercup II, USS Anti-Pretzel, USS Hammer of George,

USS Placeholder, USS Incepto

2015 TOPSNOT Trophy winner: USS Incepto

Left to Right: LHA G. Bragg, LCdr P. Robillard (Navigator), Cdt. S. MacGillivray (TOPSNOT Ground Crew), Lt(JG) Mercer (Driver), FAdm R. MacGillivray (TOPSNOT Rallymaster)

Checkpoint Special Task

Write a poem (minimum 4 lines, maximum 8 lines) using at least one of the following words: Crapulence, Vomitory, Pandiculation, Bumbershoot. Take your time, you have 5 minutes.

"Crapulence today
Vomitory tomorrow
Who knew pandiculation could bring such sorrow.
So grab your bumbershoot
and march towards the morrow."

- Lt(JG) C. Mercer and LCdr P. Robillard