| Slabovia Day | January 14th | First Constitution Adopted |
| Jack the Riper Day | February 1st | On this day in 1990, notorious spelling error Jack the Riper was exposed as the leader of the Slabovian Llama Liberation Organization (SSLO) and was declared enema of the state. |
| Mars Day | February 2nd | Slabovia stakes first claim on Mars in 1999 |
| Slabovian Rules Chess Day | February 9th | On this day in 1990, the original tournament of our national game was played between Bourne and Mackolinski. |
| All Numpties Day | February 25th | King George's Birthday |
| Arms Day | February 27th | Coat of Arms Adopted |
| Justine Day | March 2nd | Queen Justine Coronated |
| Moneca Day | March 4th | Queen Moneca I Self-Corontation in 1989 |
| Neon Turtle Day | March 5th | Commemmorating the rise of the Neon Turtles |
| Shit Umbrella Day | March 24th | On this day in 1990, Project: Runaways concluded when then-Lt Patrick Goddard accidentally and successfully deployed an umbrella to protect the USS Sir Will against attack from enemy Space High Intensity Torpedoes. |
| Evan & Wu Day | April 1st | On this day in 1989, Evan & Wu were declared twin gods of Slabovia. |
| Black Friday | April 19th | The day they changed the Coca-Cola Formula in 1985 (without even checking with us) |
| Bartholomew Festival Day | May 1st | This day commemorates the birthday of Ens William (Bill) Bartholomew, killed in inaction by Pepsi Assassins in 1991. |
| St. John Day | May 20th | In honour of Tom St. John, former Governor and Dictator. |
| Scaffolding Day | May 24th | On this day we celebrate random parties in odd locations, in memory of a random party in an odd location. |
| Gun Tape Fixes Everything Day | June 29th | While this day is the birthday of Keith Oelrich, we also commemorate the gun tape to which he was, in the Colonial days, so attached... or rather, the gun tape which was attached to him by Marcus Dostie. |
| Old Slabovia Day | July 1st | We celebrate the collective amnesia surrounding the history of Old Slabovia by generating new blanks in our memories. |
| Nikola Tesla Day | July 9th | On this day in 1856 the founder of Slabovia's alternating currency was born. This Nicola Tesla should not be confused with Nicola Tesla, the inventor of alternating current, although they share the same name and birthdate. |
| Hoover Day | August 10th | On this day in 1874, the Hoover Damites retroactively invaded the Earth in the form of a tiny, helpless blob of flesh who would later construct the Boulder Dam spacecraft and megamargarita mixers at Black Canyon, hence the name Hoover Dam. The discovery of this awesome craft by Dosenbach and Goddard in 1994 would lead, more or less directly (depending on the number of megamargaritas) to the end of World Bore One. Also the birthday of former US President Herbert Hoover. |
| George Day | September 5th | King George I coronated at the 2nd Annual Regressional Convention, Byetown, 1998. |
| Ask Not What Your Country Can Do For You Day | September 19th | In 1990, following the first Regressional Convention, George Bragg began, unbeknownst to Slabovia (and himself), his campaign to become King. By urging Slabovians to lower their expectations to near-zero, he gained our enduring apathy, which we celebrate on this day. |
| Monty Python Day | October 5th | On this day in 1969, the first episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus was beamed into the brains of all of Slabovia, permanently warping our collective funconscious. |
| Slabovian New Year's | October 12th | On this day we celebrate the discovery of Christopher Columbus by the original paeple of Slabovia, who gave the Spaniards such confusing directions that he eventually declared to his Queen that he had discovered America. For this reason, Slabovia does not appear on many official maps. |
| Lightbulb Day | Novermber 1st | On this day in 1879, Thomas "Con" Edison gained the patent for the light bulb, having stolen the idea from cartoonists depicting Thomas Edison having sudden and brilliant ideas for stealing other peoples' brilliant ideas. Slabovians celebrate all grift, scams, and cons on this day. |
| Sadie Hawkins Day | November 2nd | Although cartoonist Al Capp's cartoon version of Sadie Hawkins premiered in print on November 15, 1937, the Olde Slabovian Almanaque notes that primitive harvest fertility rituals where women dominate men have traditionally been celebrated on the first Saturday of the eleventh month. When the first official Slabovian calendar was created in 1996, this was November 2nd. |
| Independence Day | November 26th | On November 25, 1989, the Battle of Ann Arbor was gloriously won, and is now recognized as the final battle of World Bore One. Consequently, we recognize November 26 as the declaration of Slabovia's independence from the Pepsi hordes (although the Treaty of Michiganopolis would not be signed until everyone got around to it, eventually). |
| King Penny Day | November 27th | King Penny's Birthday |
| International Day of NOSE | December 26th | Commemorating the founder of the National Organization of Slabovian Egotists, Ken Robertson |
| Dead Paeple Appreciation Day | December 27th | This holiday is celebrated on the 4th Wednesday of December every year, where Slabovia recognizes the contributions and the rights of our daed paeple. |